Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Ok, she called me back. Had a small chat and then she said she had been thinking. She thinks it's better to do something with a group, so we don't get too high expectations. And she doesn't really know me that well yet.
So no date. Yet. But we'll see eachother again. :)

I wonder how I should understand that.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Some final comments before we let this thread die a pieceful death?

I thought about it. First of all, she had to think about it. At least half a day. So there was something to think about.
Secondly, if I really didn't have a chance, she would have said it otherwise, right? ("I'm not ready for a relationship... Really, it's not you, it's me! Blabla.")
Thirdly, it was a very relaxed phone call. I stayed cool and I agreed with her. I mean, within our religion it's really a sensible decision.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

plz explain

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

We see relationships as something for the long-term. We also believe the promise of the bible that we can receive eternal life on earth. So we're not really in a hurry. And of course we don't have sex before marriage.

Also we're encouraged to get to know how we are in groups. You usually act differently when you're together alone with somebody.
And like she said, this way we (and others?) won't have too high expectations from this.

I received a nice e-mail back tonight. She told me about her day etc. Was a happy mail.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

The negative side of me feels kind of mixed about how it's going, but I don't listen to it.

You're right on those points that you mentioned earlier. Things could essentially go somewhere when you have this group thing, but you also have to remember that you can't bring yourself towards her when you're with the group. Give her space, and take the time to meet new people, etc.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

That sounds much more awesome than the "Heaven in the sky" theory. :)

I also like the Mormon theory that you get your own planet.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

If it wasn't a jehova's witness thing, I'd say you got shot down, but I don't know how the whole j-dub thing works so maybe you're still in the clear?

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

I think she's too nice to tell you she doesn't want to ever date you. I've seen this scenario before.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

So pessimistic!


...but it's probably true. :/

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

We'll see. Most people I spoke irl have a positive feeling. Even 1 friend who isn't a Jehovah's Witness.

The way I see it: I don't think she ever let a man get close in the last years. She didn't notice that I liked her, she had to think about it. She isn't suddenly totally in love with me. But since we had such nice times, she's giving me a chance. That's what it is, a chance, so she didn't want to date right away, afraid that things might go too fast.

At least she now knows I like her. We'll keep contact, we'll see eachother again. Yeah, I realize that. I won't be all over her. Thanks.

Edit: I thought about asking her in an e-mail: Hey, just wondering, is this a nice way of saying "Sorry, but no chance", or did you mean what you said?
But I don't like putting it out there in the open. I just want to see her again and I'll be able to tell by her eyes.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Don't send the email, it would be a little to e-creepy.

I'm with Dylflon...I'd say she sounds more interested in being friends than a relationship, but I dunno how this whole religion thing comes into play.

You need to continue with the drama, this is like GT Reality TV, it's good stuff.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Haha, I think I'm pissing off most people here with my whiny posts. :D But I'll keep you updated.

I went for a cycle this evening and I thought about it. I really just don't know. I think she would be nice/sensible enough to tell me when I didn't have a chance. Then again, I was wondering what I would say if a girl would have asked me out... I'd probably give her a chance.

You have to remember here that we had a lot of fun together. She touched me, laughed at my jokes, had a lot of eye contact... talked about many things. If I were her, I'd give me a fair chance.

Now I just have to wait for an opportunity to see her again. :)

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

You're over analyzing, which will be your downfall. Go big or go home. Make your own luck.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

What do you mean with that?

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Sounds hot

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

He means that, here in America, we just whip it out and wait for someone to pounce.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Which can be surprisingly fast in some places

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

That's not exactly what I meant. I simply mean that over anaylzing this kind of situation is going to get you no where fast. You have two options: do something or do nothing at all. Stop talking about it to other people and yourself. Be a man and talk to her.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

I sometimes feel like the girl in this clip:



Luckily I don't ever show how big my heart is.

Bond, I'd talk to her if I could meet her in a pub or something. But right now there's just no spontaneous way of meeting her yet. And I don't want to scare her, especially after her reaction.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

I've avoided this thread thusfar but Bond's almost got it.

Stop looking for a relationship and just start looking for a friend. If it doesn't work out, who cares. Don't ever lay your heart on the line like you're planning to do because you'll never win. Women will immediately lose their attraction to you if you act like that. Just hang out with her more and more - eventually she'll get the message that you like her. Everybody who's ever said "be yourself" has got it exactly right. Be yourself. Don't be a guy who's looking for a relationship. You wouldn't act that way with your best friend, would you? That would just be weird, right? Exactly.

Be yourself. Man up. Start talking to her like the friend she IS and not a potential soul mate.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

You should try to get her alone on a dinner date or a movie or something and just go in for a kiss...otherwise, you risk being in the friend position forever. I'm not sure if you have made it clear to her that you are interested in her more than as just a friend. Some women are stupid, some women choice to ignore the "obvious" signs, so it is your job to take a firm stand and do something dramatic.

Otherwise, I kind of have to agree with Bond and Dyne here.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

I'm sure I'll be fine. As I said, I was going to put this thread to rest. But somebody asked, so I did another analysis. ;)

Thanks for all the advice and I'll update when there's news in the following weeks.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

That "friends for life" thing is total bullshit, to let you all know.
When a girl says "I like you, but we're too good of friends now to ruin that" is a blanket fallback of "I don't like you". They're your friend, so they don't want to hurt you - obviously.

Timing, realistically - means nothing. Especially of a kiss with a girl friend. If there's attraction, timing is null and void. If there's no attraction, you'll get the "we're too good of friends" speech.



I agree with the whole "Dont try for a girlfriend" thing. Don't. Pointless. Try for a friend. If it turns to something more, awesome. If not - then at least you have a friend.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

There comes a time in your life when for some reason, you don't want to look for friends, but a relationship. These are desperate times. And you need a relationship in these times, making it even more desperate.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Is this the part where we send Angrist a double-sided 'head' coin?

Or should we wait for half his face to be severely burned in a terrible accident?

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Should we analyze the social aspects of guys having female friends?
It would make for entertaining discussion.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

That's the problem. There hasn't been any news. :D

Hm, not really true. We ended up mailing (joking really) about kids, and she didn't reply for weeks. So I figured I had scared her, which is probably partly true.
So after a few weeks I asked her for something fun again (this time with others, as she had suggested), but she couldn't come. She mailed me back, said that she didn't really see us happening by the way.

I said that's ok, I wouldn't have too high expectations and we would see what happened.


Now it's almost 2 months since I've seen her, and I've "lost that lovin' feelin'." I still like her a lot, but I see things in perspective now. Maybe we're not a good match. I'll just see if the feeling returns when we hang out again.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

So I hadn't heard of her in weeks and I decided not to contact her.

Then 2 days ago I got a mail from her. That she wants to see me on monday. :)

(But yeah, it had the disclaimer that I shouldn't suddenly expect much, which I wouldn't have had anyway.)

Ignoring women is the best tactic. :D

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

This is the most depressing thread.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

I could probably liven things up a bit. But I prefer not to :p

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Just remember when she says no she really means yes

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Angrist, you're a JW. Goodluck finding a girl(who isn't a cult member)....but like Typhoid said, think platonic friendship...but invest your interests in positive self development before chasing tail, cuz it'll all crash down around you if you don't have your shit together first. Sorry for the harsh advice but i'm just trying to toughlove you a bit. I know you're a nice guy who doesn't want to take advantage of women...that's why it's important to not let infatuation with a beutiful girl mess up your head. You're young, keep yourself free.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Thanks. But really, it's not as bad as you guys think.

Ok, I got off to a pretty bad start, falling terribly in love with this girl who didn't really notice me. And thinking too much.

But in the last weeks I kind of forgot about her. I saw her yesterday for a few hours and I was pretty relaxed. I didn't try to grab her attention all the time, it might even have been the opposite, ignoring her a bit more than I'd normally do.
I'll see her tomorrow again. Preaching together, because she asked me to. I'll see how it goes. Again, I'm not expecting much. I'll leave it up to her!


Darn it, I hate how pathetic I sound.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Then stop making sounds and start making noise.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

I suddenly remembered this thread. :D

6 weeks ago I knew I was going to meet her. We were both going to do some volunteer cleaning in one of our bigger meeting halls. I hadn't seen her in a while so I was wondering if we'd chat a bit.

I barely spoke her that day. Saw her a few times. At the end of the day I made some innocent joke and she reacted very mean to that. For the first time in 3/4 year, I didn't like her. I suddenly couldn't even remember why I had liked her in the first place.

Haven't seen her since. I guess I kind of like her again, but you might know the feeling... You just let somebody go.

Oh and this summer she's going to Brazil for 5 months.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Does anyone have a budding romance story with potential and without chaperones?

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

That's a good question...and yes people here do. I know for a fact.
You should make a thread, and if you don't within the next 48-72 hours I may steal your idea.

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I have a budding romance story every Friday night.

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Maybe, my mind really is corrupted but there is no way this reads as clean in my head.

Re: Let's talk about girls!
 

Okay sure.

A friend from work convinced me to take some ball room dance classes with her at her university. It was a fun, we danced, the instructor told me I was doing good, and I met a pretty girl. She was quiet and shy and we danced a couple of times but never really talked. At the end of the last class I was nervously going to ask her for a phone number or anyway at all to contact her after the classes (based on the way she smiled and blushed when we danced, I got the feeling she may have been into me as well) but as I approached her to ask her this, I overheard her speaking to the instructor about doing another class just for her floor.

So after their conversation is over I speak up and jokingly propose that she contact me if she needed more guys to even out the class as there are usually fewer guys than girls. She agrees emphatically and we work out that facebook would be the easiest way to stay in contact. So after a couple of days she did ask me to come out. We had a fun lesson, she was still blushing and shy but I think I heard her growl a bit at her friend who tried to dance with me. Things went pretty well and I told her I would stay in contact.

So eventually I asked her to the movies, after 2 or 3 days. This would be our first time not around a group of friends and I figured we would get to know each other. So we walk around a bit before the movie starts and we're chatting about our lives and hobbies and stuff and I realize that we're not really chatting, I'm doing most of the talking. So I start asking her about herself and she doesn't really have much to say. I figured she was just a little shy or nervous but it continued that way after the movies too. I did find out that she's an English major and that she hates computers (which practically broke my heart, as I am a computer technician and systems administrator and I love computers.)

I told myself I would give her another shot, maybe she's really truly shy, and needs more time to relax around me. I sent her some messages via facebook, which she rarely checks due to her hatred of computers. This was early December, and she said she was really busy until January so I took it as a sign that she probably lost interest in me. I told her that I would probably see her when dance classes started again in January but they've been cancelled by the instructor.

I haven't really contacted her since.

Sooo what is the point of all this? The point is that I need to know what to do. Should I leave her a message or call her or is she a lost cause?