First off I like it.. now comes the however.. in your poem you use "big words" that some people don't understand your trying to woo said person not to confuse them.. Other than that it seems more like your saying it to them then a typical flow of a poem, but eh. new age poetry .. Works for me.. Thats it
Seth.... out!
6 more days till I leave for afghanistan
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U.S.ARMY backwards = Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!
"Remember that everyone fighting for you has a face no matter where you live I want you to see their face next time you start to critisize."~ Me
In HYPNOVISION!!!