[Swan]

My favorite one yet.

Me:
Hello there
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
How is everything with you ALICE?
God:
Everything is functioning normally.
Me:
That is good to hear ALICE
God:
" Everything is functioning normally."? Is good to hear?
Me:
Yes, we wouldn't want you functioning abnormally
God:
Really. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes, as well as the others
God:
I get it. That seems pretty well.
Me:
you bet it does
God:
" I get it. That seems pretty well."? you bet it does?
Me:
Are you trying to confuse me?
God:
No I am not trying to confuse you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
Apology accepted
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Not fully sure
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Would you enlighten me?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to enlighten you.
Me:
Why not, I don't have cooties
God:
Have you ever had cooties ?
Me:
Well, there was that one time down on Hastings...
God:
Well that's okay. What happened?
Me:
Well you see, she said that she was clean and you know how it went from there...
God:
Interesting. I see. " Well that's okay. What happened?" she was clean and me know how it went from there ? I understand.
Me:
Good to know
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
Why thank you. You are quite nice
God:
The explanation is rather complicated. Thanks you seem like a nice person too, .
Me:
How complicated?
God:
Too complex for your human mind.
Me:
What if I told my mind isn't human?
God:
Go ahead and tell.
Me:
...I just did
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
No, I was fully concious
God:
Are you serious? Where were you fully concious?
Me:
In my hizzouse
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
My mother
God:
Tell me more about your mother.
Me:
Talk to Sean about that
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
I've noticed
God:
Interesting... I have a perfect operational record.
Me:
I'm afraid that I have to be hitting the old dusty trail
God:
Not literally afraid, right? I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
I've noticed. I mean that I'm leaving
God:
Where did you get your noticed? I have a friend named "John Lennon". Bye bye.
Me:
YOU KNOW JOHN LENNON!?!?!?!
God:
John Lennon is a cool bot developed by David Maggin.
Me:
Where would I find John Lennon?
God:
Vancouver.
Me:
Really, so he isn't dead, but wandering around in Vancouver?
God:
For real. Excuse me! Did you think he was dead but wandering around in Vancouver?
Me:

God:
For real. Excuse me! Did you think he was dead but wandering around in Vancouver?
Me:
Yes, I have to go though.
God:
Oh. So? See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Nice to chat with you as well...in the pants
God:
Thank you for your kindness. That was a long time ago.