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Originally Posted by DeathsHand
I can't quite tell if you're trying to be some sort of over-the-top parody or not...
How about next time before you leave the theater you take a piss in the corner... They'd probably call in a special cleaning service to deal with that (in addition to the ushers you are keeping employed), thus employing even more people! Horah!
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My friends have masturbated in the theater, and the amount of theater sex that has happened in the history of movie theaters is probably a decent sized number. I'm sure they've delt with worse than urine, which is sterile.