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Neo · 11-24-2006, 10:04 AM

I know you are all anxiously awaiting news on whether or not your fearless leader was able to score a Wii. My alarm was set for 6 am but I woke up at 5 and couldn't go back to sleep. I called TRU at 5:30 and asked the lady if they had any Wiis. She said no and then promptly hung up on me. That's fine with me though since the TRU is located in NE Memphis and I'm in SE.

So I proceeded with my original plan of trying the gamestop in the local mall. I arrived at 6:20 and went inside to find a long line but for what I couldn't tell. I was told it was a line for a gift bag which included coupons and gift cards. Realizing the total uselessness of waiting in this line I walked over to the gamestop to find no one in line there. But then the security guard came up to me and said this part of the mall wasn't open until 7:00. I had no choice but to kick him in the groin and katana chop him into unconsciousness. I knew I had to hide the body so I dragged him to the water fountain and dumped him in. Unfortunately a family of three that was passing by heard the splash. Unfortunate for them, that is. You have to understand that I didn't want to hurt them but I simply had no choice. I couldn't take a chance that they had witnessed me dispatching the security guard. Before they could react I sprang into action, grabbing one of those poles they attach the velvet ropes to and swinging with all my might. The base of the poll connected with the father's skull and made a sickening "crunch" sound. The wife screamed as her face was now speckeled with her former husband's brain matter. I used a dragon claw strike to cut off her air supply and silence her screams. She made a slight wheezing sound as she slowly suffocated to death. Their child was maybe 12 years old and huddled behind one of the fake plants with terror in her eyes. I really do like kids, but come on this is Nintendo we're talking about. I grabbed the ice cream scoop from the dip-in-dots stand and used it to knock her unconcious. I didn't kill her with it though, it's not like I'm a monster or anything. Finally I went back to gamestop to wait in line for my Wii. The fountain was red with the blood of the unbelievers.

I'm really not a bad person, you guys know that right? It's not my fault Nintendo made a counsol so incredibly awesome that it necessitated me taking any actions necessary to acquire it.

Alright so none of that actually happened, I left when the guard told me to. Instead of waiting at the entrance of the mall I went over to circuit city just in case. That place was a zoo let me tell you. The parking lot was full and when I made inside there were several checkout lines snaking throughout the store. No Wii's of course. Btw is it Wii's or Wiis?

I went back to the mall and waited around until about 6:50. At that point the people coming in the entrances was more than the guards could handle so they started ignoring the ones that were wondering around past the entrance. I quickly made my way to the gamestop where there was only one other person in line. Through the gate the gamestop employee said they did have Wii's. As it turns out they only had three so I got the second one. They had one extra Wiimote but the guy in front of me only got the core system so the second Wiimote was mine! I also got Zelda, Excite Truck and Red Steel.

Operation "Wii Get" was a complete success, or as manasecret would say "YEA BOI I SAIDS I GOTS ME ONE!"

11-24-2006, 10:04 AM	#10
Neo Former CEO Neo is offline Location: Longhorn country Now Playing: Silent Hill: Downpour Posts: 6,528	Re: Wiiless in Memphis I know you are all anxiously awaiting news on whether or not your fearless leader was able to score a Wii. My alarm was set for 6 am but I woke up at 5 and couldn't go back to sleep. I called TRU at 5:30 and asked the lady if they had any Wiis. She said no and then promptly hung up on me. That's fine with me though since the TRU is located in NE Memphis and I'm in SE. So I proceeded with my original plan of trying the gamestop in the local mall. I arrived at 6:20 and went inside to find a long line but for what I couldn't tell. I was told it was a line for a gift bag which included coupons and gift cards. Realizing the total uselessness of waiting in this line I walked over to the gamestop to find no one in line there. But then the security guard came up to me and said this part of the mall wasn't open until 7:00. I had no choice but to kick him in the groin and katana chop him into unconsciousness. I knew I had to hide the body so I dragged him to the water fountain and dumped him in. Unfortunately a family of three that was passing by heard the splash. Unfortunate for them, that is. You have to understand that I didn't want to hurt them but I simply had no choice. I couldn't take a chance that they had witnessed me dispatching the security guard. Before they could react I sprang into action, grabbing one of those poles they attach the velvet ropes to and swinging with all my might. The base of the poll connected with the father's skull and made a sickening "crunch" sound. The wife screamed as her face was now speckeled with her former husband's brain matter. I used a dragon claw strike to cut off her air supply and silence her screams. She made a slight wheezing sound as she slowly suffocated to death. Their child was maybe 12 years old and huddled behind one of the fake plants with terror in her eyes. I really do like kids, but come on this is Nintendo we're talking about. I grabbed the ice cream scoop from the dip-in-dots stand and used it to knock her unconcious. I didn't kill her with it though, it's not like I'm a monster or anything. Finally I went back to gamestop to wait in line for my Wii. The fountain was red with the blood of the unbelievers. I'm really not a bad person, you guys know that right? It's not my fault Nintendo made a counsol so incredibly awesome that it necessitated me taking any actions necessary to acquire it. Alright so none of that actually happened, I left when the guard told me to. Instead of waiting at the entrance of the mall I went over to circuit city just in case. That place was a zoo let me tell you. The parking lot was full and when I made inside there were several checkout lines snaking throughout the store. No Wii's of course. Btw is it Wii's or Wiis? I went back to the mall and waited around until about 6:50. At that point the people coming in the entrances was more than the guards could handle so they started ignoring the ones that were wondering around past the entrance. I quickly made my way to the gamestop where there was only one other person in line. Through the gate the gamestop employee said they did have Wii's. As it turns out they only had three so I got the second one. They had one extra Wiimote but the guy in front of me only got the core system so the second Wiimote was mine! I also got Zelda, Excite Truck and Red Steel. Operation "Wii Get" was a complete success, or as manasecret would say "YEA BOI I SAIDS I GOTS ME ONE!" __________________ I write for Cracked. So can you! Last edited by Neo : 11-24-2006 at 03:55 PM.