[Teuthida]

So her cake made you cry? Then I can only assume the apple pie was used as an emetic to make room for more of the cake no doubt filled with a cocktail of drugs to swing your mood so wildly that you're reduced to blubbering pool of chocolatey tears.

I can bake alright. But I don't consider making pie, baking. A blind overworked paraplegic circus seal could make a pie using only its mutant prehensile foreskin. You can't make a cake willy nilly like you can with a pie. Cake requires precise calculations. To bake a cake you need to be both a scientist and a student of the mystic dessert arts.