If you're going to the movies...

[Professor S]

Once the movie starts, SHUT THE **** UP!

Leave your **** for the usher to pick up. If they didn't want to clean up after me, they shouldn't have been an usher. Cleaning up for the usher is like taking your trash to the dump so you don't inconvenience the garbage man. By leaving trash to clean, you maintain their employment. If everyone cleaned up after themselves you wouldn't need as many ushers. Be messy and help the economy.

If you hear a cell phone ring or conversation, you are EXPECTED to grab their phone and hurl it against the wall.

Any parent that brings a baby to a movie is an unfit parent. Call social services immediately.

"Punks" and "Slackers" are forbidden. "Hippies" are on probation.

If you buy popcorn, chew with your mouth closed... slob.