Marriage - Page 2

Yan · 01-14-2005, 08:47 PM

I got the impression that most people on this forum are mature enough to handle a lot of issues stemming from relationships.

I used to post online on a teen forum and you wouldn't believe some of the tools you see there. You have kids who are 14 and 15, claiming that they are in love and engaged. With someone they just met 2 weeks ago.

I am not saying that this (i.e. finding someone you truly love in 2 weeks) is not possible but sometimes it pays to be more practical. There are enough Britneys and Jennifers in this world already!

Maybe that's why I don't go there anymore...

Marriage is definitely something I am looking at when my relationship hits a certain point. However, like what I told my mom who fears that I may be over commiting myself to one person (at this age), "We are deciding on what to eat for lunch and not which house to buy."

KillerGremlin · 01-16-2005, 12:49 AM

Well, here's my stance.

The foundation of marriage is supposed to be love. Love is supposed to be a non-material thing, however, I'm willing to argue that being financially stable and having an education will help to prolong whatever love you have. It's not so much that you need to be a certain age to get married, it's that most 16, 17 and 18 year olds are still moronic teenagers that not only cannot support themselves, but are still arrogant and always think that everything they think is right.

Hypothetically, a marriage could work at an early age. It's happened before, it's going to happen again. Realisitcally...well, that depends on the scenario.

I'm all for marriage too....I'm not sure why someone wouldn't be.....unless they where going to be the next Hefner or something...so yeah. Go marriage!

DimHalo · 01-16-2005, 10:20 AM

I was just thinking about the comments about age:

I am now 22 years old, and I can remember back when I was 16,17 or even when I was 18,19 and I know for a fact that I would not have been able to handle marriage. And I have always been a very mature person.

Although I do know that it could work for some, it wouldn't have worked for me and it didn't work for my sister... so my opinion is it is very uncommon.

Su-Yin · 01-16-2005, 11:21 AM

why would someone trap themselves in so much commitment and responsibility at such a young age.....i feel if u love someone...very well....be with him/her and be happy....but when you get married at 16-19 ish....all is wasted...youth is wasted......the very few best years of your life....will b spent on doing the same s*** you will be doing for the rest of your life......

WHY?!.....i feel if you're destined to b together....you will at the end of the day....if the feeling of love is mutually strong...there is no need to bond yourselves together in marriage just to prove that the relationship you share is secure...*shrug* thats what i feel.

Canyarion · 01-20-2005, 04:34 AM

To the one that said people can change in a year: people will always keep changing. It's about how you deal with that. That's what matters more in a relation, I think.

DimHalo · 01-20-2005, 10:36 AM

Yes, but the big changes occur after you really start to get close to someone. They take down their barriers. So, that is why I said a year is not long enough. Of course people always change, but its those early changes that are most important.

fingersman · 01-20-2005, 03:31 PM

I find it interesting that Jeepnut's slave is posting about marriage and Jeepnut is nowhere to be found.

Canyarion · 01-20-2005, 04:00 PM

Well JS what if I'm we're already close enough? What if we already took down our barriers (whatever that means?

)?

You can't judge for others whether they're ready or not....

DimHalo · 01-20-2005, 04:07 PM

well girls do think more about marriage than guys (in general) ... and jeepnut is probably scared to put up his opinion in case someone will speculate that we're near that point

Canyarion - you're probably right, my opinion is a general opinion formed of what I would want for myself and what I have already seen (a lot)

jeepnut · 01-20-2005, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepnut's slave

well girls do think more about marriage than guys (in general) ... and jeepnut is probably scared to put up his opinion in case someone will speculate that we're near that point

Canyarion - you're probably right, my opinion is a general opinion formed of what I would want for myself and what I have already seen (a lot)

Yeah, we both know a person who jumped into a relationship way to fast and got engaged while the girl was still in High School. They both said they were meant for each other, they both said they wanted to be together forever and they both said they were in love. Shortly there after things went wrong and his life is worse off for it. She ruined a few of his friendships and probably a lot of his confidence. Basically, in my opinion, there is absolutely no reason not to wait. If it's meant to be, it will happen. This is not to say this will happen to you and I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Just that, in general, more often than not, it's a good idea to take marriage very slowly.

My thoughts on marriage are that I do definitely, without a doubt want to be married with a family someday. But, I also want to be able to support that family and provide a secure and loving environment for my children to grow up in. This means I want to be out of college and have a decent job with some money saved up so that we are solid finacially and I want to have known my spouse for several years to be sure that we can get along and that we've given time to discover all those habits we have that at first we thought were cute but are now just annoying. Relationships change over time, a lot. I feel I would be irresponsible to add children to a relationship that had not in my mind already stood some test of time. I can't even begin to tell you how much JS and myself have evolved both individually and as a couple over the three plus years we have known each other, but I can say without a doubt that I am sure that we will change even more in the coming years.

Not meant to be a lecture, just laying my thoughts and opinions out on the table.

DimHalo · 01-22-2005, 10:39 AM

First of all, I didn't even notice that there was a new post in this thread. jeepnut corrected my error

Anyway, although I already knew most of what he said up there. I would like to say that what he said about our friend is totally true. Its a pretty bad situation there.

And about us changing... hopefully its for the better

ulala06 · 01-23-2005, 03:50 PM

hmmm... i want a wedding. lol, but i'm not sure yet whether or not i will ever get married. my parents' marriage was a disaster, and i've never met a couple who are entirely happy with their relationship. i won't rule it out, but i don't think i'll get married in the next 5 years.

as far as gay marriage goes: i'm for it. all the way. it's none of the government's business who gets married. jesus, land of the FREE... not JESUS land of the free... well anyway you get it.

TheSlyMoogle · 02-02-2005, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Typhoid

Well, what do you think about it?

Some people are opposed to it, somr arnt.

Some people wouldnt get married to someone just because their parents disaprove, are you one of those people?

Does age matter?

What about how long you've known someone for? Does the length of the relattionship, or how long you've known someone matter?

Personally, to me, Love is love. Age means nothing. If I love someone, I love them for a reason, and nobody will say its because of how old they are. I wouldnt listen to my parents if they told me not to marry said girl, because who are they to tell me who I will or wont be happy with? And again, I dont think length of the relationship, or of how long you've known eachother for means anything, Love is love.

What are your personal thoughts?

As far as marriage is concerned, to me it's not that important, marriage is just a tax break.

Living with someone is basically the same thing as marriage, so I think that's all you really need.

As far as approval, you're the only person that needs to approve.

Age? Whatever, personally I like em a little older.

Length of relationship? Doesn't really matter too much, I think it will help you work out all your problems if you date a little longer, but if you love someone, you should be able to work out all your faults and differences no matter how long you've known them.

Personally I'm in love with someone I only spent 17 days or so with.

So I don't think it matters.