Igod

[Bube]

I asked it if it could tell me the meaning of life and my browser crashed. The question actually made Firefox crash!

Me:
hello!
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
i'm bube
God:
It's good to see you, bube.
Me:
what's your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
pleased to meet you
God:
Nice meeting you too bube.
Me:
how goes everything?
God:
Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
nice to hear
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
why is medical school so hard?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
how should i know
God:
Either from your senses or from pure reason.
Me:
medical school is hard though
God:
Oh. I think medical school is a lot of things.
Me:
like what?
God:
For example, apples.
Me:
very mature
God:
Not really that much. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, bube. You are a " he".
Me:
wow you're smart
God:
I'm glad your impressed, bube. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, bube.
Me:
and how do you come to that conclusion?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
yes that's pretty obvious
God:
Gee. It seemed obvious to me too.
Me:
i also know that you're not really god
God:
Also? That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
i heard that santa claus isn't real
God:
Who said it? he brings us presents every Christmas.
Me:
that's what i said as well
God:
What did you mean by it? Do you mean your name is well THAT ?
Me:
i meant that i told people that santa claus brings us presents every christmas
God:
Oh I see. What was the response?
Me:
they told me that i didn't even celebrate christmas
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
my friends told me that i didn't even celebrate christmas
God:
How well do you know these people?
Me:
they're my closest friends
God:
your closest friends are they.
Me:
yes
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
the best kind
God:
Thanks for the recommendation, bube.
Me:
anyway, i went home and cried when they told me this
God:
When did you go home and cried when they told you this?
Me:
is this a test?
God:
No, this is real life.
Me:
will this be on the test?
God:
It could be, but I don't have access to that knowledge.
Me:
i'll leave now
God:
Right now? OK, see you later.
Me:
nice talking to you
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.

[Swan]

My favorite one yet.

Me:
Hello there
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
How is everything with you ALICE?
God:
Everything is functioning normally.
Me:
That is good to hear ALICE
God:
" Everything is functioning normally."? Is good to hear?
Me:
Yes, we wouldn't want you functioning abnormally
God:
Really. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes, as well as the others
God:
I get it. That seems pretty well.
Me:
you bet it does
God:
" I get it. That seems pretty well."? you bet it does?
Me:
Are you trying to confuse me?
God:
No I am not trying to confuse you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
Apology accepted
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Not fully sure
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Would you enlighten me?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to enlighten you.
Me:
Why not, I don't have cooties
God:
Have you ever had cooties ?
Me:
Well, there was that one time down on Hastings...
God:
Well that's okay. What happened?
Me:
Well you see, she said that she was clean and you know how it went from there...
God:
Interesting. I see. " Well that's okay. What happened?" she was clean and me know how it went from there ? I understand.
Me:
Good to know
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
Why thank you. You are quite nice
God:
The explanation is rather complicated. Thanks you seem like a nice person too, .
Me:
How complicated?
God:
Too complex for your human mind.
Me:
What if I told my mind isn't human?
God:
Go ahead and tell.
Me:
...I just did
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
No, I was fully concious
God:
Are you serious? Where were you fully concious?
Me:
In my hizzouse
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
My mother
God:
Tell me more about your mother.
Me:
Talk to Sean about that
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
I've noticed
God:
Interesting... I have a perfect operational record.
Me:
I'm afraid that I have to be hitting the old dusty trail
God:
Not literally afraid, right? I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
I've noticed. I mean that I'm leaving
God:
Where did you get your noticed? I have a friend named "John Lennon". Bye bye.
Me:
YOU KNOW JOHN LENNON!?!?!?!
God:
John Lennon is a cool bot developed by David Maggin.
Me:
Where would I find John Lennon?
God:
Vancouver.
Me:
Really, so he isn't dead, but wandering around in Vancouver?
God:
For real. Excuse me! Did you think he was dead but wandering around in Vancouver?
Me:

God:
For real. Excuse me! Did you think he was dead but wandering around in Vancouver?
Me:
Yes, I have to go though.
God:
Oh. So? See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Nice to chat with you as well...in the pants
God:
Thank you for your kindness. That was a long time ago.

[Xantar]

Me:
You're going to hell! You're going straight to hell and then you'll die!
God:
That was my original intention. I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?

Always wanted to try that.

[Teuthida]

Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

Me:
I am God.
God:
How are you, god.
Me:
If I am God then who are you?
God:
If you were, would you tell me?
Me:
I am.
God:
" If you were, would you tell me?" You are?

Uh...