Is this wrong?

Typhoid · 10-09-2005, 08:17 AM

Ok.

So Tonight my best friend came over, who happens to be a girl.

We were both sitting on the chair at my computer (its like a couch chair) and then we fell asleep together.

She fell asleep on my chest, and I had my arm around her, and our legs were all interlocked and stuff.

We were like that until about half an hour ago when I picked her up and carried her to my bed to put her to sleep.

She has a boyfriend who she is working things out with right now.

Anyways, personal deal or not, just a general question.

Do you think its wrong to cuddle with someone in a relationship?

Does being best friends with that person make you exempt from any badness cuddling can create?

Shadow Fox · 10-09-2005, 10:04 AM

Story of my life...being the "friend" alongside a woman in/out/near a relationship can cause confusion, usually at the expense of the female involved.

The true, morally correct answer: tell her you need to step back from her, especially with you spending time like that. She'll probably be pissed, but as long as she understands you're looking out for her best interest, she'll eventually get over it, and probably respect you more.

The also true, but morally wrong anser: take the ride as it comes.

She's not your girl, and you're not her man. Her issues are not yours, so take best advantage of the situation as you can...

BTW, the last part didn't come from me.

Yeah, not from me...

Typhoid · 10-09-2005, 10:20 AM

Thing is.

I cant just take time away from her.

Me and her are best friends.

Its not like we have feelings for eachother, because we dont.

Its just one of those being totally comfortable with eachother things (or so it is from my end anyways).

GiMpY-wAnNaBe · 10-09-2005, 10:34 AM

i think that if you do it as friends that's fine, as long as her boyfriend doesn't find out. I've got some friends that are so close they might as well be sisters and same thing goes, just because something like that happens, doesn't mean that anythings happening.

Jonbo298 · 10-09-2005, 10:46 AM

I dont see an issue with that basically. As long as it wasnt any farther then that. Sometimes women need something like that even if they have a boyfriend probably just to have someone to hold them to reassure things will be fine.

If the boyfriend somehow finds out, just explain nothing came about. But I doubt something like this would get out anyways since nothing happened.

But if it was me, I'd not worry too much. It wasnt anything over the line, IMO

Typhoid · 10-09-2005, 11:08 AM

You know I also meant in general to you guys right?

haha...I didnt mean for this to be a "solve my problem" thing.

It was just what appeared to be a nice segway to a question.

Plus. Ive decided I dont care. We dont like eachother as far as I know. Good enugh for me. All our friends assume we're ****ing anyways.

But if this didnt have to do with me, I wouldnt see a problem with it either, unless something happened. Especially between best friends of the opposite sex. (I stated opposite sex because Gimpy said he has friends who could be sisters. I would make a damn manly girl.)

manasecret · 10-09-2005, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Typhoid

...
It was just what appeared to be a nice segway to a question.

Nitpick Alert!

It's spelled segue. I only pick it out because I'm learning Italian and it came up recently.

DimHalo · 10-09-2005, 11:48 AM

Not in response to Typhoid's situation because he's already informed us that he knows.

But from my own personal experience, it all depends on the feelings between the two people involved. I've tried cuddling with a friend, but it has always led to trouble (or something great, depending on how you look at it). Of course, that has been with someone who I liked and who liked me back.

Dylflon · 10-09-2005, 01:41 PM

I don't really see an issue. I've taken naps with my best friend who is also a girl who has a boyfriend.

As long as there's no sexual motivations behind it I wouldn't feel bad about it.

Jason1 · 10-09-2005, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylflon

I don't really see an issue. I've taken naps with my best friend who is also a girl who has a boyfriend.

As long as there's no sexual motivations behind it I wouldn't feel bad about it.

Yea, especially if you have no physical attraction to this girl. I mean, if you were wanting to get with her or something, then we might have a bigger issue, but if you had no desire or anything like that I see nothing wrong with this.

Professor S · 10-09-2005, 04:47 PM

Don't worry, you are firmly in the friend zone. You said that she and her boyfriend were working things out when she cuddled with you. This is a common occurence with female friends.

You are her emotional tampon. Her boyfriend is most likely not meeting an emotional need that you do. What this means is that she is leaning on you for emotional suppprt when he can't or won't. When her crisis ends, the cuddling will stop and she'll act like nothing ever happened.

Dylflon · 10-09-2005, 04:49 PM

The cuddling doesn't always stop.

Some girls are just really cuddly.

Professor S · 10-09-2005, 05:07 PM

There is a window of opportunity here, Typhoid. You have to truly ask yourself what you want from your friendship. If you want her, go for her... now.

If you wait, you will remain an emotional tampon and solidify yourself in the friend zone.

Typhoid · 10-09-2005, 06:19 PM

Ew.

Solidified Tampons.

Anyways.

I dont know what I want, is the thing.

Shes a great girl, and super cute, and super nice.

But shes my best friend.

Oh well.

What happnes happens.

Thanks all.

Dyne · 10-09-2005, 06:58 PM

If she's your best friend, half the battle has been won. Now you just need to storm the fortress(1)!

(1)Interpret "storm the fortress" as you like.