Is this wrong?

manasecret · 10-09-2005, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Typhoid

...
It was just what appeared to be a nice segway to a question.

Nitpick Alert!

It's spelled segue. I only pick it out because I'm learning Italian and it came up recently.

DimHalo · 10-09-2005, 11:48 AM

Not in response to Typhoid's situation because he's already informed us that he knows.

But from my own personal experience, it all depends on the feelings between the two people involved. I've tried cuddling with a friend, but it has always led to trouble (or something great, depending on how you look at it). Of course, that has been with someone who I liked and who liked me back.

Dylflon · 10-09-2005, 01:41 PM

I don't really see an issue. I've taken naps with my best friend who is also a girl who has a boyfriend.

As long as there's no sexual motivations behind it I wouldn't feel bad about it.

Jason1 · 10-09-2005, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylflon

I don't really see an issue. I've taken naps with my best friend who is also a girl who has a boyfriend.

As long as there's no sexual motivations behind it I wouldn't feel bad about it.

Yea, especially if you have no physical attraction to this girl. I mean, if you were wanting to get with her or something, then we might have a bigger issue, but if you had no desire or anything like that I see nothing wrong with this.

Professor S · 10-09-2005, 04:47 PM

Don't worry, you are firmly in the friend zone. You said that she and her boyfriend were working things out when she cuddled with you. This is a common occurence with female friends.

You are her emotional tampon. Her boyfriend is most likely not meeting an emotional need that you do. What this means is that she is leaning on you for emotional suppprt when he can't or won't. When her crisis ends, the cuddling will stop and she'll act like nothing ever happened.

Dylflon · 10-09-2005, 04:49 PM

The cuddling doesn't always stop.

Some girls are just really cuddly.

Professor S · 10-09-2005, 05:07 PM

There is a window of opportunity here, Typhoid. You have to truly ask yourself what you want from your friendship. If you want her, go for her... now.

If you wait, you will remain an emotional tampon and solidify yourself in the friend zone.

Xantar · 10-09-2005, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Professor S

When her crisis ends, the cuddling will stop and she'll act like nothing ever happened.

Now ain't that a depressing thought.

Anyway, I'll just add that I think these kinds of situations depend not only on her and what you feel (or don't feel) for her but also on your general temperament. For example, I am a physically very reserved person. All my friends know that if I so much as hug a girl, she must be one of my two or three very best friends if not my actual girlfriend. On the other hand, one of my other friends is very outgoing. He likes to hug, and he will also often put his arm around a person or hold their shoulders while talking to them. I wouldn't mind if he did that to my girlfriend because he does that to everybody. It's just the way the two of us are.

And then you've got the Europeans who kiss each other all the time as greetings, but that's another story.

Don't overthink the situation, but I do think you ought to consider how much physical contact you like to get in a normal situation. That's a clue to how your interaction with this particular girl is perceived by others (and by her).