Dear Strangler:

[Neo]

What if.....he's not pretending




But really though, why would you make something like that up just to relieve the boredom of your own pathetic, dead end job where all your coworkers went out to lunch but you can't because you have a plane to catch soon and so must stay to catch up on work? No responsible person would make up something like that, it would be wasting everyone's valuable internet time.