Mule vs. Beaver

[Professor S]

Play by Play!

Mule comes out kicking, but can't find the Beaver. Silence rules the air, until there is a sound of timbers cracking. With mild agility, Mule barely avoids a falling tree, but he's caught by a branch! DOWN GOES MULE!

Beaver begins to celebrate, jumping up and down in all his furry glory, but it is premature as Mule is back on his feet and *CRACKABADOOM!!* Beaver is punted into the river and Mule wades in to finish the job. But the river is Beaver's natural habitat! Could this be a fatal mistake?

Exploding like a dolphin from the water's top, Beaver performs a deft Matrix slo-mo bitch-slap with his waffled paddle tail, stunning Mule. Beaver swims below to castrate Mule, but OH NO!! Beaver forgets that Mule's manhood is useless!! With another brutal thrust, Mule catapults Beaver onto the grassy shore.

Beaver slowly rises, spits blood from his swollen and broken jaw, and laughs:

"Look behind you, you nutless son of a bitch"

Beaver's dam breaks right on schedule...

to be continued...

[Typhoid]

Hands down the beaver.
Beaver's are way way faster, more resourceful, and have giant teeth.