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[Neo]

Dear GameTavern,

I am an avid gamer, with my major form of recreation and relaxation being playing online role-playing games. My husband prefers TV. Our "unwind" time is spent doing our respective favorite things, and we also have "together" time that may be spent talking, touching, or doing any of the other things married people might find to do.

Inside the game, I have lots of friends. Occasionally the role-playing can turn frankly erotic. I enjoy this, and it tends to stoke the fires. When the computer is shut down, my spouse gets the benefit of the activity in bed.

I have no emotional connection with any of the online players. My spouse is getting all the physical action. But I worry ... am I cheating?

Edit: I just realized I have your sexes reversed. No matter, you are still a freak.

Dear Cyber Whore,

You are lying to yourself if you think you have no emotional connection to the avatars you digitally fornicate with. Kittyclaw3812 may have an enticing, voluptuous and well-proportioned bosom, by there is a real person behind those pornographic pixels which have been getting your e-juices flowing. Plus, he is probably a 40-year old named Fred and is sitting in a windowless room in his boxers while wearing dark socks.

How would you feel if your wife could only become aroused by going online and finger popping herself to images of a bare-chested night elf doing the macarena? One being controlled by a 15-year old boy with severe acne?

Also, he is drooling.

So yes, you are cheating. The very fact that you feel guilty should have clued you into this. Though, I can understand if the eye strain induced from playing games on your semen-encrusted monitor has addled your already worthless brain.

You need to talk to your wife about this ASAP. Hey you never know, she might be into it. And if so, then more power to you. But until that time, try to maintain mastery over your domain before your seemingly innocent rendezvouses in Shadowmoon Valley spiral out of control and you end up spending your virtual gold on a virtual ring for your virtual wedding, while other loser paladins cast consecrate while jerking off to a Victoria's Secret catalog.


Freak.