What is Game Play?

[Angrist]

I wonder which one is healthier, cake or pie. I don't like cake all that much, because it tastes too sweet and fat. At least with pie you often get some fruit inside your stomach.

[TheSlyMoogle]

In the order of desserts of win it goes like this from Greatest to worst (Greatest starting at the top):

Pies
Brownies (Which are almost cake, but not quite)
Cookies
Gelato
Ice Cream
Sorbet
Sherbet
Candy
Various sweet Breads
Carrot Cake
Cake

That's how terrible cake is.

[Teuthida]

Could you have a more lazy foodstuff? Hot fruit thrown into some crust.

And you can't bring carrot cake into this without your black sheep: Rhubarb pie.

Heat this up and plop it in some crust. There's your pie.

[Angrist]

we used to grow rhubarb in our garden. I haven't eaten it in 15 years...

[Combine 017]

For the longest time I thought it was called Rebar pie, so I was confused why anyone would want to eat it.

[Professor S]

Teuth, Rhubarb pie is delicious, and just another example of pie's versatility, and respect of function (taste) above form (awful, disgusting chemicals, stabilizers, leavening agents, colorants, fondant icing a.k.a. edible plastic).



And just to show you what an ignorant slut you are, you do not put the entire plant into the pie. Only the lovely, colorful, and delicious stalk. The leaf is actually deadly poison, making rhubarb pie more BAD-ASS. Its the pie version of Fugu.

So not only is pie tastier, more versatile, and purer than cake, it could also kick cake's ass in a cage match.

[Teuthida]

Your tastebuds must have been rendered retarded from the decades of being pied in your cakehole.

I've had rhubarb pie. Hell, I've made it a number of times. You need to drown it with sugar to get any sort of satisfaction. Make a pie with pigeon crap and you'd need less sugar to reach the same level of enjoyment.

That's right, I bake. Given your expectations of what's in cake, you've obviously never had anything that wasn't from a mix or store bought.

[Professor S]

Originally Posted by Teuthida

Your tastebuds must have been rendered retarded from the decades of being pied in your cakehole.

I've had rhubarb pie. Hell, I've made it a number of times. You need to drown it with sugar to get any sort of satisfaction. Make a pie with pigeon crap and you'd need less sugar to reach the same level of enjoyment.

That's right, I bake. Given your expectations of what's in cake, you've obviously never had anything that wasn't from a mix or store bought.

Sir, I had a PA dutch grandmother who made a chocolate fudge cake that would make you cry... until you had her apple pie.

The reason why you don't like pie is that you can't bake. HAVE AT YOU!

[Teuthida]

So her cake made you cry? Then I can only assume the apple pie was used as an emetic to make room for more of the cake no doubt filled with a cocktail of drugs to swing your mood so wildly that you're reduced to blubbering pool of chocolatey tears.

I can bake alright. But I don't consider making pie, baking. A blind overworked paraplegic circus seal could make a pie using only its mutant prehensile foreskin. You can't make a cake willy nilly like you can with a pie. Cake requires precise calculations. To bake a cake you need to be both a scientist and a student of the mystic dessert arts.

[Professor S]

Originally Posted by Teuthida

So her cake made you cry? Then I can only assume the apple pie was used as an emetic to make room for more of the cake no doubt filled with a cocktail of drugs to swing your mood so wildly that you're reduced to blubbering pool of chocolatey tears.

I said it would make YOU cry. The remainder of your reply is moot.

I can bake alright. But I don't consider making pie, baking. A blind overworked paraplegic circus seal could make a pie using only its mutant prehensile foreskin. You can't make a cake willy nilly like you can with a pie. Cake requires precise calculations. To bake a cake you need to be both a scientist and a student of the mystic dessert arts.

Scientist? Its the scientific equivalent of making a baking soda and vinegar volcano. Can you read? Then you can make a cake. There is no art in the baking, only the decorating. The COVER-UP.

And the last time I checked they sold cake mixes out of boxes with fake names like Betty Crocker. Gee, that sounds impossible. Where is the pie box? Hmmm? Oh yeah, that's because pie isn't simply the task of mixes A with B and baking. It requires fresh ingredients. Crust must be cut-in correctly, with just the right mix of shortening and butter, then CHILLED before baking for maximum flakiness.

The is no step by step, oz by oz instructions for pie. It is the confluence of the culinary arts. Cake is a math problem, and they give you the answer on the side of the test.

Have your cake, and languish in your inequity. I'll have my pie and relish in nirvana.

For the record, you lost this argument after Cheesecake was revealed to be custard pie. Just an objective analysis of events.

[Teuthida]

Scientist? Its the scientific equivalent of making a baking soda and vinegar volcano. Can you read? Then you can make a cake. There is no art in the baking, only the decorating.

And you can be an illiterate dunce to make pie. What exactly is the point you're trying to make?

And the last time I checked they sold cake mixes out of boxes with fake names like Betty Crocker. Gee, that sounds impossible. Where is the pie box? Hmmm? Oh yeah, that's because pie isn't simply the task of mixes A with B and baking. It requires fresh ingredients. Crust must be cut-in correctly, with just the right mix of shortening and butter, then CHILLED before baking for maximum flakiness.

You can buy pre-made pie crust. Most recipes call for it. Chop up some apples. And bake until whenever. Durrrr, that was hard. Good thing no reading was required.

Again with the cake from a box? By that logic you can find pie in a vending machine:



Talk about artificial ingredients...

[Professor S]

Originally Posted by Teuthida

And you can be an illiterate dunce to make pie. What exactly is the point you're trying to make?



You can buy pre-made pie crust. Most recipes call for it. Chop up some apples. And bake until whenever. Durrrr, that was hard. Good thing no reading was required.

Again with the cake from a box? By that logic you can find pie in a vending machine:



Talk about artificial ingredients...

Those are not pies. They are called "pasties", a variation on pie, once again showing off its versatility. Pie made cheap and accessible to the masses. Pie trumps cake in socioeconomic realms as well as taste.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasty

Pie is so good it necessitated spin-offs.

[Professor S]

Originally Posted by Teuthida

You can buy pre-made pie crust. Most recipes call for it. Chop up some apples. And bake until whenever. Durrrr, that was hard. Good thing no reading was required.

Pie is the crust. If you don't make the crust, you haven't made a pie. Cake mix is cake mix, whether together in a box or in separate parts and you have to put it together yourself.

There is no art to it. Pie requires a deft hand, that is why most recipes assume you don't have the skill to build it yourself.

Cake? Toss it in a bowl and mix. Bake. Pancakes take more skill.

[Teuthida]

You're grasping at straws. How can you talk about art and skill?



Starry Nighted your ass.

And who knows what the make up of that is. Could be anything. Whereas with pie you have this:



Except just change the fruit for variation. Yawn.

And I like how you're playing the name game. Cheesecake is called cake but is really pie but then Hostess pies aren't really pies but pasties. Picking and choosing what's what instead of going by what it's called.

[Professor S]

Originally Posted by Teuthida

You're grasping at straws. How can you talk about art and skill?



Starry Nighted your ass.

And it made me throw up in my mouth a little. The art I speak of is what takes place in your mouth, not in icing that probably tastes like lighter fluid.

Except just change the fruit for variation. Yawn.

Simple, yet refined. The purity of the art form. Your cake is porn. Pie is a film by Truffaut.

And I like how you're playing the name game. Cheesecake is called cake but is really pie but then Hostess pies aren't really pies but pasties. Picking and choosing what's what instead of going by what it's called.

I'm not the one playing games. I said pasties are a variation of a pie. Cheesecake has nothing in common with a cake. NOTHING. It doesn't have leavening, nor FLOUR. It is a custard sitting on a crust. Hence: PIE.

You don't have to believe me. Ask Alton Brown from the Food Network.

Skip to 1:40




THE WORLD'S MOST POPULAR CAKE IS A PIE. GAME. SET. MATCH.

Good day to you, sir. Good day.