Battle Royale Part2

Dylflon · 08-27-2003, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GameMaster

I'd like to know how those people met up and how one killd the other. Was it a struggle? A sneak attack? A sacrafise? A suicide?

I just chronicled the most exciting battle.

GameMaster · 08-27-2003, 07:24 PM

Perfect. Thanks for recounting that.

Ginkasa · 08-27-2003, 07:27 PM

It would be much better if you could simply write these really short "parts" together, and release them at once. Chapters this small really detract from the story.

Also, don't just list a bunch of people who have died in the end. There's no point of having those characters if we don't even meet them before they die. Show each and every death in the story.

*shrugs and walks away*

Dylflon · 08-27-2003, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginkasa

It would be much better if you could simply write these really short "parts" together, and release them at once. Chapters this small really detract from the story.

Also, don't just list a bunch of people who have died in the end. There's no point of having those characters if we don't even meet them before they die. Show each and every death in the story.

*shrugs and walks away*

That would take a long time to write.

I don't show them all because I focus on certain main characters each time. There should be an element of mystery as to how the characters act and what weapons they have. I'd like this information to be presented as the story unfolds.

Ginkasa · 08-27-2003, 07:37 PM

So what if it takes a long time to write? As the writer of this story, you shouldn't be trying to pump them out as quick as possible. You should instead be trying to make them as good as they can be, and if it takes more than a hour (better yet, a week or more!) to get a chapter out to do it, so be it.

I would rather read a very well written and entertaining story that has a month or two wait between each chapter rather than a medicoire at best story with short chapters with a one or two hour wait between them.

Xantar's a very good example of this. He takes forever sometimes to get the new chapter of his fanfic out, but it can almost be guaranteed that the chapter is going to be a very entertaining read and with a very well developed story and characters.

Next thing...

If you're going to kill off a character before we even meet him, what's the point of having the character? I don't get any mystery from not seeing some character being killed. All I get is disappointment.

So far, this has been pretty disappointing. Spend more time on each chapter, develop it more, show more characters.

*shrugs and walks away*

Dylflon · 08-27-2003, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginkasa

So what if it takes a long time to write? As the writer of this story, you shouldn't be trying to pump them out as quick as possible. You should instead be trying to make them as good as they can be, and if it takes more than a hour (better yet, a week or more!) to get a chapter out to do it, so be it.

I would rather read a very well written and entertaining story that has a month or two wait between each chapter rather than a medicoire at best story with short chapters with a one or two hour wait between them.

Xantar's a very good example of this. He takes forever sometimes to get the new chapter of his fanfic out, but it can almost be guaranteed that the chapter is going to be a very entertaining read and with a very well developed story and characters.

Next thing...

If you're going to kill off a character before we even meet him, what's the point of having the character? I don't get any mystery from not seeing some character being killed. All I get is disappointment.

So far, this has been pretty disappointing. Spend more time on each chapter, develop it more, show more characters.

*shrugs and walks away*

You haven't seen Battle Royale (the movie this story is based on) have you?

It focuses on some key players and follows them. A lot of the time you don't know how the people die. It just happens.

This is just the beginning. I need to weed out some people and get central characters and events happening. I just needed to thin the numbers quickly.

I have some chief pro and antagonists that were involved in the event I didn't show. Let the events unfold. But for you, I will chronicle the other things that happened. For you.

Dylflon · 08-27-2003, 07:57 PM

There. I've added more.

Professor S · 08-27-2003, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginkasa

So what if it takes a long time to write? As the writer of this story, you shouldn't be trying to pump them out as quick as possible. You should instead be trying to make them as good as they can be, and if it takes more than a hour (better yet, a week or more!) to get a chapter out to do it, so be it.

I would rather read a very well written and entertaining story that has a month or two wait between each chapter rather than a medicoire at best story with short chapters with a one or two hour wait between them.

Xantar's a very good example of this. He takes forever sometimes to get the new chapter of his fanfic out, but it can almost be guaranteed that the chapter is going to be a very entertaining read and with a very well developed story and characters.

Next thing...

If you're going to kill off a character before we even meet him, what's the point of having the character? I don't get any mystery from not seeing some character being killed. All I get is disappointment.

So far, this has been pretty disappointing. Spend more time on each chapter, develop it more, show more characters.

*shrugs and walks away*

I think you're thinking a little too hard about this story. Its not meant to be War and Peace. Just sit back and enjoy as you see who you get to kill and then who kills you. Then talk **** on those you killed.

Dylflon · 08-27-2003, 08:19 PM

Thanks. Yeah and it will be more focused on story soon. It's really one of those stories where it's hard to put yourself in that situation. With this story it's like Could you kill your best friend?

Now people have to come to terms wit hwhat they have done.

Some can't cope with it and feel terrible even though they fight in self defense. Others will kill with no remorse. And some play for fun ie. Orangeboy. So as the killing goes on people have to live with what they've done and come to terms with the fact that they have to kill to survive.