Battle Royale 2: Chapter 3

[Vampyr]

I'm a nervous psychopath with a gun. AWESOME!



This one was quite good. We are beginning to see some interesting character development that goes a bit deeper than previous stories/chapters, especially with Atomus. I did notice a few minor errors:

The rest of the group catches up and stops once they reach them struggling to catch their breath.

I think "them" was ment to be "him."

She seems consoled by Atomus just being beside him.

"Him" should be "her".

I think that was all. Other than that, superb job.

[Ginkasa]

Originally Posted by Vampyr

"Him" should be "her".

I think that was all. Other than that, superb job.

Oh...I see now. That mistakes mine. It was originally her but I thought the "her" was supposed to be referring to Atomus so I changed it to "him." I see what he meant now...


*shrugs and walks away*