Typhoid's Advice Column

[Typhoid]

Dear Typhoid,

When does it become gay? If I just lick the tip? If there is a condom on it?

Dear KG/Butters,

It becomes gay the second your tongue, lips, teeth, nostrils or fingernails touch another man's penis. In this case, anyways. I mean, it would also be considered gay if any of those body parts were rubbed up against another man in an erotic sexual fashion, or possibly put into any orifices for the sole purposes of pleasure unless you were giving him a legitimate wet willy.

Chaotically yours, Typh.